her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize