You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
