oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
