But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
