how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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