You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
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