I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
