He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize