my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
40s are totally the cure
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Randomize
