It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
