I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
