I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
