I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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