He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
