What did we do last night that was yellow?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
