I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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