he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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