So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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