fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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