I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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