She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Randomize
