in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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