Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
my being single is dangerous.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
