Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
