definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
