Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
