Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
