i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
