i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
