I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
