you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
