this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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