And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
