So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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