omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
