Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize