Someone shit on the floor
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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