why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
