the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
