I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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