Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
