i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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