whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
porn star boner night. come get it.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
