Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
