how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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