Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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