everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
