lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
