No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
