I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
