She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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