she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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