You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
