Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
he shaved USA in his pubs
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
