you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
