spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Randomize
