11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
