very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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