were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
